


Nosey Neighbors…

by Mistymay6886



Series: ~Simon The~Not~So~Super~Spy~ (Verse 9) [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Asexual Character, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Roommates, Series, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25030006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistymay6886/pseuds/Mistymay6886
Summary: Simon wakes up from the craziest dream…only to realize it wasn’t a crazy dream…it’s the 1stday of his totally insane new life as the single least qualified spy in the history of spying…Damnit…why couldn’t it have just been a nice, simple drugging?That seems SO much more preferable to living with a CIA Boyscout and just next door to the stupidly gorgeous freaking boogeyman assassin  of the NSA.Well…at least he has his best friends to keep him sane and grounded.What would he do without Kevin and Magnus?At leastThey’renormal…Or are they?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Series: ~Simon The~Not~So~Super~Spy~ (Verse 9) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1348315
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	1. I Had The Craziest Dre- Ah Crap…

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! I’m back. This one’s gonna be fun. We’ll have lots of action, lots of flailing Simon, slightly exasperated but charmed Raphael, calm cool (when Magnus’s not around) Alec, and a Magnus unlike anything else we’ve had so far…
> 
> The Magnus twist just came to me when I was getting close to the end and I actually had to rework like 70% of everything I already had planned but it’s SO totally worth it.
> 
> Oh, one more thing? From here on out I’m gonna try (TRY being the operative word) to keep to just having 1 section per chapter whenever possible. When I started writing having the multiple parts was a good way to beef up the chapters as they were pretty short but as I now regularly have chapters that go over 10k words and my average length of sections has went from less than 2 k to around 4-6k or more I think we’re good.
> 
> Stories are still gonna be long (Don’t worry) still a lot of shifting POV’s cause I really love that, and likely still some random meandering parts just because I can’t seem to help it but from here on out I’m trying to cut down on the ‘filler’ type sections and chapters.
> 
> I don’t know how it’s gonna go…but that’s my goal…
> 
> Kay enough of me babbling…
> 
> Back to the spy craft insanity…

## 

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** *-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-* **

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Simon groaned, rolling over, stretching, gaze landing on the clock on the nightstand.

_Hmm…Tuesday…_

Thank god-it’s his day off. He SO needed it after last night. Craziest dreams ever. Spies and bumbling and break ins and high speed chases and an MIB like bunker hidden beneath the world’s most depressing travel agency in existence. Ending up with a Captain America/Boyscout CIA agent roommate and living thirty feet from a scarily gorgeous NSA assassin who made other agents so twitchy they had to be given a heads up on his arrival- and even THEN they panicked.

Simon somehow bumbling into being the single most ill qualified spy in the history of spying all thanks to a Jackass acquaintance from high school and his eagerness for a possible bootleg game.

Tell you one thing after that dream he is never downloading a bootleg game again. Like **_ever._** I mean yeah, it was just a bizzaro dream and logically the only real danger of downloading a bootleg game is a computer virus and some malware but gotta say, dreaming about being the world’s first and only person to ever actually physically catch a computer virus? Yeah, that’s gonna put him off them for a while.

_Man…where the hell did that come from?_

He doesn’t know what he did or watched or ate yesterday that screwed with him so much as to trigger that insanity but as soon as he figures it out he’s damn sure not doing it again. It was totally out of left field. W-well… maybe not **_totally_** …I mean, okay- he DOES spend a kind of absurd amount of his non-work (and okay sometimes work) hours on the computer or game stations. Maybe it was like a bizarre warning from his brain that he’s spending too much time on them. Telling him he’s too attached to it - that if he doesn’t ease up and step back a little he’s gonna literally fuse with the damn things.

Yeah it’s a leap but it’s the best explanation he can come up with. And he probably _could_ use a little break from all the techie stuff- like **_all_** of it; computer, gaming consoles, phone, the whole nine yards. He doesn’t think he can remember the last time he went a full day without messing with one–okay all- of them. Actually if pressed he probably can’t remember even going a full waking hour without at least one of them.

_Umm…yeah…might be a bit much._

Maybe he does just need a little breather from all of that. It probably was just a wakeup call- one he really should listen to. Today’s his day off, he can start right now. He could take the day, step back from all the electronic distractions and just relax. Maybe go for a walk, go to the beach or even on an actual hike.

He could straighten up the house, go to the market and pick up some stuff for a real homemade dinner to cook tonight, maybe even settle in and read a nice old fashioned book- like a real ink and paper type book. Just have a nice, quiet peaceful retrospective/reset kinda day.

_Hmm…that actually sounds kinda nice._

He gave a soft sigh, rolling back over, pushing himself up into a sitting position before shifting over to the side of the bed. He stood up, stepping into his favorite slippers, stretching his arms up above his head till he heard his back pop satisfyingly. Yawning loudly he made his way to the bedroom door, pushing his hair back, fingers slipping through the tangled birds nest of light brown locks, making his way down the hallway towards the kitchen and over to the coffee pot, getting ready to fill it before pausing, blinking in confusion.

_Huh…coffee’s already made…_

_Did he set the timer?_

He doesn’t usually, not on his days off in any case…a-and it’s not full. Did Kevin come over already this morning? He did that sometime when they had the same day off. But No, he works today- and no way in hell Mags’s up before noon so what’s going o-

He startles at the sound of the door banging open, whirling around.

“Damnit Raphael I’m only gonna tell you one more time, you cannot just pull down the damn trellis!” Alec groused, shaking his head exasperatedly, all but slamming the door behind him.

Raphael scoffed.

“Think you mean I shouldn’t.”

“No I mean you can’t!”

“Yeah I can…it’s easy. All I need is a crowbar, a couple tools and like three minutes, no sweat. It needs to come down, it’s a security threat.”

_“This is a RENTAL!”_

Raphael rolled his eyes, giving a dismissive wave.

“It’ll be fine, we’ll just say it had storm damage.”

“We’re in Santa Barbara!”

“Okay sun damage.”

“Oh my god, you’re insane…” Alec groaned rubbing his face agitatedly.

Raphael chuckled, head tilting, looking up at the taller man with a thoroughly amused smirk.

“Relax Boyscout, breathe…and maybe switch to decaf- you really are too high strung.”

Alec scoffed, giving a sarcastic look.

“Hey I’m not high strung okay? I am totally levelheaded. This is a perfectly acceptable reaction to THAT level of unreasonableness and craziness…and for the last time stop calling me that!”

Raphael snorted, smirk pulling up a tic.

“Yeah you’re levelheaded…and I’m a pacifist.”

Alec gave a disbelieving scoff, blinking before startling, just now catching sight of Simon frozen over by the coffee pot. He shifted, looking near relieved, gesturing over to him, beginning towards the kitchen.

“Oh good Simon, you’re up. I need your help here- he’s insane and he’s been purposefully setting me off all morning. And I know damn good and well it’s on purpose- no one can possibly be THAT obnoxious and aggravating unintentionally. He’s talking about full on remodel type things! I don’t know what’s a legitimate security suggestion and what’s him just trying to piss me off!

He at least almost listens to you- hell of a lot more than he does with me in any case. Maybe you can try to talk some sense into him. I need a second voice of reason to drown out the insanity.” He finished coming to a stop next to Simon, leaning against the counter, crossing his arms, shooting an exasperated glare over at Raphael.

Raphael all but slinked into the kitchen, settling against the kitchen island, leaning back, gaze flickering from Alec over to Simon. His eyebrow quirks, dizzyingly dark gaze slipping slowly over Simon, a little spark flickering in those gorgeous espresso brown eyes that kinda makes Simon’s breath catch and his stomach do a funny little flip. The eyes spark brighter, catching Simon’s for a moment, an entirely too appealing smirk tugging at the corner of his pretty lips before his gaze shifts back to Alec, head tilting.

“Your voice of reason is wearing pajamas decorated with rainbow kittens and Wookie slippers.”

Alec huffed, pointing back at him.

“Hey that does not in any way negate what he says…” He paused, glancing over at Simon, weirdly light hazely green eyes shifting over his pjs and the fuzzy Wookie slippers, flashing a faintly apologetic, amused little half smile, clearly fighting off a bit of a chuckle.

“Though gotta admit, it doesn’t exactly help.”

Simon blinked, still frozen in place, clutching at his coffee mug like a lifeline.

_Umm…o-okay…so…_

NOT a crazy dream…his new crazy reality.

A reality in which he was the least qualified spy in the history of spying…in which he had a computer program downloaded directly into his brain, rewriting his mental codes even right at this very moment. A Reality in which he will be living in the same house as a kind of fussy, super moral, CIA Boyscout and exactly thirty feet away from a NSA trained assassin who is hands down the most terrifying (And terrifyingly gorgeous) person he has ever met in his entire life.

A terrifyingly gorgeous, terrifyingly _terrifying_ NSA trained assassin who is now standing in his kitchen, smirking at him in his rainbow cartoon kitten pajamas and fluffy Wookie slippers, with his wild messy bedhead, clutching his ‘come to the dork side, we have cookies’ coffee mug like it’s a freaking security blanket.

_Crap…_

_He is SO not getting his reset day._

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	2. Spycraft 101

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##  *-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*

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“-should always be aware of your surroundings. You have to be- otherwise you can just stumble right into a set up and be in over your head before you even know what happened. Sometimes even the most seemingly insignificant thing can turn out saving your life. An unexpected detour like for traffic or construction could be a trap. If there’s officers or flaggers directing traffic be sure to take special note of them, take in any identifying markers and check if they’re paying your car any particular interest.

Be sure you’re staying with the rest of the traffic and even if it takes more time be sure to keep to surface streets- the last thing you want is to end up separated out or bottlenecked in somewhere. More importantly don’t rely just on your cars navigation system- we are way too complacent and trusting of our devices and they are way too easily hacked.

Don’t just follow blindly, look at where it’s taking you, use your own judgment and your own knowledge of the area. If something seems off, that’s probably because it is.

Now if that happens you need t-”

_Oh good lord...how is he_ **_STILL_ ** _talking?_

_He’s making freaking international espionage and Spycraft boring..._

_How is that even possible?_

How can someone take one of the most exciting, awesome, movie worthy type jobs on the planet and make it boring? Is it a weird Captain Boyscout superpower or something? Has he even stopped for breath? Simon doesn’t think so...he’s been talking for over thirty minutes _(on_ ** _this_** _part of the lecture)_ and he didn’t hear him pause for breath once.

Does the CIA teach like breathing techniques....or hire vampires so they don’t have to breathe- cause that might totally fit here. Maybe this is some kind of interrogation techniques. Like psychological warfare, A way to get someone to confess or give up intel?

Gotta say if it is it’s damn effective. If he had any idea what the intel he needed to give up to end this was he’d of given it up two hours ago during the **_second_** PowerPoint...the one on the different agencies, their interactions, their international counterparts and how they compare and contrast to each other. The one hour, twenty three minute and fourteen second lecture. Yes he timed it- he also converted the time to minutes and then to seconds just to escape the tedium...That’s right, he was doing random mathematical conversions to **_escape_** the boredom.

Four thousand, nine hundred and ninety four seconds of his life that he’s never getting back.

There were Van diagrams...

And handouts...

_Seriously, was there such a thing as psychological warfare involving lectures and handouts...and possibly pop quizzes? He has the distinct feeling there is a quiz coming up on this in his near future._

Okay so this morning after his realization that his bat crap crazy dream was NOT a dream and in fact his bat crap crazy reality and that this was gonna be a thing he actually had to face really started to sink in he’d kinda balked a little...okay a lot...o-okay so he’d sat his coffee cup back down, opened the fridge, grabbed that weird neon blue bottle of unidentifiable alcohol Mags had left last New Year’s and made a beeline right back to his room firmly locking the door behind him, pushing his Tardis curio cabinet over to block the door just for good measure intent on putting off the insanity as long as possible.

Two hours, a lot of mental spiraling and one empty mystery alcohol bottle later _(He’d only actually been able to drink like half a glass before giving up the ghost and dumping the rest down the sink- who the hell thought cotton candy flavored liquor was a good idea anyways? Now he knows why Mags ditched it here)_ later he was startled out of his spiraling spy-induced panic, moping, existential crises whatever-you-want-to-call-it by a voice not an inch from his ear.

He screamed like a little girl, jumped about two feet in the air, fumbled, flailed and nearly fell off his bed, just barely managing to stop his tumble by catching himself on his night stand, causing the whole thing to shake, sending his Marvel chess set scattering across the floor.

Raphael hadn’t even apologized for the startle, just shrugged it off like it was nothing with that obnoxiously attractive smirk and smug little eyebrow quirk, saying just to think of it as his first lesson in spying- always be vigilant of your surroundings. Said it was gonna be an **_ongoing_** lesson as if he could get that close without Simon even registering it he clearly needed all the practice he could get.

Simon had groused that he was in his own locked bedroom with a freaking barricaded door. Raphael had shrugged, totally unimpressed saying that’s no excuse- yes it was a locked room with a barricaded door but the window latch was child’s play to get through- even easier when it was not only unlocked but left partially open- and the trellis came up just a few feet from it, right between the window in his room and the one in the in-suite bathroom, said it was practically a welcome mat.

Simon’d glared, sniping he liked the cooler air at night. Raphael’s shrugged totally unsympathetic, told him get a fan, stop moping, put on his big boy Wookie slippers and get back out in the living room cause his spy training was starting now. Simon’d sputtered and stammered trying to wave it off, put off jumping full into the insanity for a little bit longer, gesturing to the empty bottle but Raphael just scoffed, rolling his eyes. He waved it off right back, saying Simon hadn’t even drank half a glass, just poured the neon blue monstrosity down the sink.

Simon had sputtered again at that, demanding to know how he knew that. Raphael’d just shrugged, saying ‘I’m a spy’ while flashing that stupidly pretty little smirk and a way too attractive to be fair wink, slipping his arm around Simon’s shoulders, tugging him over to the door, pushing the curio cabinet out of the way like it was nothing, all but dragging him out of his room and into the world of Spycraft insanity.

Simon didn’t know if this was Raphael being an ass to help him through his panic and fear and motivate him or just being an ass cause he’s kinda an ass but either way it was obnoxious as hell and totally uncalled for.

Whatever the case here he is: His first day of Spycraft 101.

Gotta say so far he’s really not a fan. Though part of it could be that his apparent teacher is taking the whole ‘teacher’ thing a fair bit too literally.

Admittedly he really didn’t have any clue what to expect from ‘spy training’ (especially since up to yesterday ‘espionage’ seemed about as likely a potential career for his as ‘trapeze artist’, ‘big cat trainer’ and ‘Alien Linguistics expert’) but in any case here he is. He expected it to be odd, expected a lot of information that he couldn’t follow and a lot of confusion and a lot of ‘oh my god I SO cannot do that’ scenarios...he expected it to be totally overwhelming and more than a bit intimidating.

_He really was not expecting PowerPoint’s and pop quizzes. He feels like he’s waken up back in high school._

“And of course the safest place to park is closest to an entrance, window or an area with heavy foot traffic. The more public a place you are the harder it is for someone to tamper with anything...on the other hand it also means it’s harder to recognize any undue attention so there is that.” Alec paused, reaching over, hitting the button on the computer, clicking to the next page.

“Now moving on to section Twenty two we s-”

Simon shifted forward, holding up his finger.

“Umm...out of curiosity how many sections are there?”

Alec gave a slight wave.

“I actually got it paired down pretty good- just fifty- we’re already nearly halfway there...though some of the ones coming up are a bit longer and more in depth but most of the others really clip along.”

Simon blinked, swallowing, nodding slowly, kind of slumping back in his seat, trying to pull up his ‘I’m totally paying attention and not mentally replaying the musical episode of Buffy The Vampire slayer’ expression from school...he thinks the groan was internal _(Though it’s possible that was Raphael next to him)_

In any case the expression seems to work Alec smiled, nodding before diving right back into ‘section twenty two’ the Proliferation of Clandestine Bureaucracies part 1 of 10.

_Oh good lord..._

_This is gonna be a_ ** _LONG_** _day..._

_He may regret pouring out that horrible cotton candy liquor...being black out drunk with a sugar high might actually make this more bearable._

**_Three hours and twenty five minutes later..._ **

“-and that’s why you always check those points on your phone to be sure it’s not bugged.” Alec trailed off, glancing over at Raphael flashing a faint glare.

“And then maybe check **_again_** just in case the person bugging it is an especially sneaky NSA operative. Those are a real pain to deactivate.”

Raphael chuckled, eyebrow quirking.

“But a snap to reactivate.”

_Ugh...here we go...the baiting begins..._

Simon kinda thinks it’s just Raphael’s way of breaking up the monotony of the lecture- can’t say he blames him there. For the last hour and a half he’s been alternating between hair brain schemes to make a break for it and trying to mentally set off the smoke detector- but really going from a boring lecture on ‘the developmental evaluation of counter intelligence tactics and theories’ _(three thousand, four hundred and twenty seconds)_ and those two sniping at each other is really a lateral move.

Plus every interruption just makes the lecture last even longer...and start new random ones. The last interruption sent Alec on a twenty minute tangent on proper chain of command etiquette. It was worse than all ten parts of the PCB lecture.

_And yet here we go again._

Simon sighs, sinking down in his seat at the kitchen island, resting his head in his hands, trying to wait out the snipe-fit.

Alec sputtered.

“You did not bug my phone again.”

“No I didn’t bug it again....I reactivated the same tap. It’s not bugged ‘again’ it’s bugged still.”

**_“Stop bugging my phone!”_ **

****

Raphael huffed out a slight laugh, shrugging, totally unconcerned, flashing that stupidly attractive, cocky little smirk, deep eyes sparking, half amused, half challenge.

“Hey I’m just doing my job...can’t really protect you if I can’t find you, now can I?”

Alec scoffed glaring, standing up to his full height, towering over Raphael.

“ ** _I’m_** not the one you’re ‘protecting’ that would be Simon. You know, _Simon?_ wavy brownish hair, hyper, Wookie slippers and kitten pjs, about half a foot shorter than me? Someone you actually pretend to at least half ass listen to?

I get the confusion though. Really hard to tell us apart, practically twins.

**_He_** is the one you’re guarding- **_I’m_** the one you’re aggravating the hell out of. If you’re gonna bug anyone’s phone it should be his.”

Raphael chuckled, flashing a sharp little smirk, eyebrow quirking near teasingly.

“You’re underestimating me Boyscout, I have that all covered- Multitasking’s kinda my strong suit...Well one of the few that I can talk about freely and that doesn’t result in collateral damage and clean up teams in any case.

Besides going from yesterday it really couldn’t hurt. It’s okay to admit you need a little help Boyscout...it’s not a weakness needing help- a weakness is being too stubborn to admit it.”

Alec scoffed.

“I don’t need your help, and stop calling me that!”

He chuckled, crossing his arms, giving a faint shrug.

“Can’t do it Boyscout- fits far too well, Besides during this it IS a good idea to have codenames. It’s just practical. They have to make sense and be easily enough to identify who the agent is without actually using their name...

Think we have it.

I’ll put a call into Luke and let him kn-”

_“Don’t you dare!”_

“Hey I’m just doing my job.”

“No you’re not! You’re being a Jackass!”

Raphael smirked, flashing a near playful wink.

“Part of the job.”

“It is not!”

“Is too.”

“I-”

_He really WAS back in high school- or freaking_ ** _grammar_** _school. These two were worse than when he used to babysit. He has the distinct feeling he’s minutes away from hearing ‘nu uh’ come out of the mouth of a fully grown adult-_

_A freaking SPY adult._

_At least he got paid for that. All he’s getting here is a headache, a truck load of dry, mind numbingly boring or convolutedly hard to follow information, and an irritatingly attractive freaking assassin giving that annoyingly hot, smirky, challenge-y look that made it even harder to follow the stupid boring-ification of what’s largely thought of as one of the coolest, most exciting jobs on the planet._

_Again how the hell do you make Spying boring?!_

Alec groans.

“Wh-”

Simon groaned louder, cutting him off, hand smacking down on the table, feeling his last bit of composure snap, rubbing at his temples, waving animatedly between the two.

“Alec! Dude, you know he’s just screwing with you. I swear you two are worse than when I used to babysit the Walker twins in high school. Ignore it- he’s just trying to get a rise out of you- stop reacting and he’ll get bored and move on to something else.”

“Yeah b-”

Simon shook his head, agitatedly blowing a wayward curl out of his face, holding up his finger, pointing from one of them to the other and back.

“Uh uh, no- stop. Don’t make me try to give you two a time out.”

Raphael smirked, those pretty, deep brown eyes flashing in amusement and interest, shifting over him, smirk picking up a tic at the edge of his stupidly pretty lips.

“You’re gonna give ME a time out? How exactly is that gonna work Lindo?”

Simon huffed, flushing lightly at the teasing, vaguely flirty tone, glaring more, pointing.

“Don’t start with me Smirky- and I know damn good and well you did that flirty, tease-y confuse-y tone on purpose so cut that out too. Not in the mood. I am SO past the point of self-preservations instincts right now. I am tired, I am annoyed, I am bored out of my mind by a topic that I would’ve thought impossible to be bored by. I-”

Raphael chuckled shrugging, casting a side glance over to Alec.

“He’s not wrong there B-”

Simon shook his head, pointing again.

“Uh uh- still talking, don’t start that again. I am tired, I’m annoyed, I’m bored, I’m spinning out of my mind on the sheer insanity I’m not jumping into but being literally _dragged_ into- by you this morning- after you broke into my room and snuck up on me just to scare me-”

“That no-”

**_“Still_** talking- and continued to make a game of startling me every chance you get.

I have no clue how the hell I’d do it but I’m this close to trying to figure it out. I may not have the ability to give you a time out but I DO have over two decades of practice annoying the hell out of people and that’s when I’m not even TRYING.

Remember you’re stuck working with me and protecting me and living not thirty feet from me- that’s a lot of me...it’s gonna get old REAL fast. I’ve never actually TRIED to purposefully annoy someone but I have a REAL knack for it. I have it, I will use it, Don’t think I won’t.” He finished pointing again, meeting Raphael’s eyes head on, pointedly ignoring the sparkly amusement in those dizzyingly deep brown eyes and the biting his lower lip to keep the laugh or grin in check _(ugh...damnit...that was just not fair- no one should be that appealing while they’re all but laughing in your face.)_

Simon glared more at him, gaze shifting over to Alec, again pointing.

“And Alec? Seriously dude, how are you falling for this? I know what he said- I don’t care. Neither should you. Stop taking the bait, you’re giving him exactly what he wants. And you’re more than smart enough to know that.

He’s screwing with you- I know it, you know it, he **_definitely_** knows it. Stop falling for it. He’s probably bluffing anyways, and even if he’s not, who cares? We’re working together, living not thirty feet from him doorstep and dude you are so by the book you are literally in the middle of giving me a lecture with freaking hand outs and a power point!

I mean what, are you planning on sneaking off for some clandestine rendezvous we’re unaware of?”

Alec coughed, shaking his head, clearly trying to fight off a laugh of his own.

“Well no b-”

“Then stop reacting to it. He’s a spy- an annoyingly smirky, way too confident, obnoxiously irritating spy who’s main hobby seems to be smirking, parkouring down buildings, and tormenting anyone in his immediate vicinity just for the hell of it. For the next god only knows how long that’s me and you- may as well get used to it cause I doubt it’s stopping anytime soon.”

He pushed his stool back away from the kitchen island, turning, climbing off the seat, pointing at them again.

“Okay now I need a bathroom break because you have been talking for six hours and forty five minutes- that is twenty four thousand three hundred seconds- without so much as a break unless you count the annoyed snarking jags- which I SO don’t...I am taking one now.

Hopefully by the time I get back out here you guys can find some way to act that’s somewhere between sniping children and rambling statistics professor five years past retirement age. There has got to be some kind of happy medium.” he huffed, shaking his head at the two, turning, beginning down the hallway before pausing, turning, pointing at Raphael, eyebrow raising censuringly.

“Do NOT follow me.”

“Wasn’t gonna.” Raphael held his hands up placatingly, trying to tramp down a chuckle, unable to fight off an annoyingly appealing smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Simon growled, glaring again, sputtering, just barely managing to keep from stamping his foot before turning on heel, marching up the stairs, all but slamming the door behind him, moving through the room and into the in-suite bathroom, slamming that door too just for good measure. He groaned setting down on the edge of the tub, kind of slumping back against the wall, dropping his head in his hands.

_Oh good god...this is just too much._

Too much in one setting. He needs a break- a real break. He cannot go back out there...He just can’t. He’s at his wits end- for god sakes he was just threatening to put a freaking trained assassin in time out- he needs a break. Clearly he’s already had one from his sanity...and his self-preservation instincts...the rest of him needs a break too.

He took a couple deep breaths, glancing around, gaze falling on his watch setting on the edge of the sink.

Hmm...it’s past five- Kevin’s off...and There’s a special screening of the 3D version of Falling Skies tonight at seven. That would be a nice break, Should be good...hell of a lot better than three more hours of ‘Spycraft sleeping pill’ that’s for sure. 

_But how is he gonna do it? They’re not just gonna let him go. Alec still has thirteen sections to go and Raphael no doubt has endless snarking, poking and teasing to do. No way they’re just letting him walk out the door, so that’s out..._

_But...that might not be the only way._

He tilts his head consideringly, gaze landing on the window...

Hmm...could he? I mean Raphael climbed up the trellis...well...okay ‘Raphael can do it’ isn’t exactly indicative of anything. Even so climbing down a trellis isn’t like taking on a dozen evil counter agents or parkouring down the side of a building or whatever. It’s basically just sneaking out of the house- a typical teen type move _(and again with the high school theme.)..._ still he should be able to run with this.

And he WAS desperate.

He stood up, glancing at the bathroom door, creeping over, slipping quietly across the room, grabbing his spare car keys from his night stand, slipping on his orange sneakers before tiptoeing back across the room, slipping back into the bathroom, closing the door, ensuring the lock was flipped. He took a deep breath, turning on the sink for a bit of noise coverage, moving over to the window, glancing around before opening it, looking out, judging the distance...

Hmm...wasn’t really THAT high...maybe twelve feet, seems manageable. And it was over the flower bed, even if he kinda bungled it there’d still be fairly soft for a landing....he could probably do it.

Then again is he overreacting? I mean is he really desperate enough to get out of the rest of Spycraft Sleeping Pill 101 that he’s willing to actually climb out his bathroom window?

I mean it’s just a few lectures...and PowerPoint’s....and quizzes...and a snarking, snipping stupidly gorgeous assassin alternating between picking arguments with Alec, poking at him, and scaring the living hell out of him.

_Is he really THAT desperate?_

_Yes. Yes he is._

Simon took a deep breath, pushing the window open the rest of the way, casting one more glance at the door ensuring the locks flicked before turning back, taking a deep breath, leaning over, hiking his leg over the window sill, beginning to shift out of the window, extending his leg over, trying to catch a foothold.

He gets a little anchor, shimmying closer to the trellis.

_Okay...a little bit further, just lean over a bit more, kind of swing over the rest of the way...kay...good...just a bit more you almost g-_

He gasps, nearly fumbling his hold, scrambling to get a solid hold, pressing as close as he can to the Trellis, squeezing his eyes closed trying to steady his heart. He took a few more deep breaths, slowly blinking his eyes open, glancing back over his shoulder, pressing a bit closer to the trellis, hold clamping tight.

_Oooh boy...okay that’s higher than he thought._

He took a deep breath, inching down slowly squeezing his eyes close.

_Okay...okay he’s making it...h-_

He startles as his foot scrambles, unable to find a hold. He opens his eyes, glancing down, realizing his feet are at the bottom of the trellis.

Ah crap...how’d he not realize it didn’t extend all the way to the ground? It ends about four feet from the ground. Okay so he just has to kinda drop the last few feet.

_He can do it...he can...just let go and drop. It’s not that far...he can...he’s going to..._

_He is..._

_Right now..._

_He’s letting go. He is...h-_

_Oh hell...he’s not doing it is he? Maybe he didn’t think this through...this was stupid, he needs to just go back. Or call them...the window for the living room is just a few feet over he can call them a-_

**_“- No you can’t install counter insurgent weaponry on the roof!”_ **

“Think you mean I shouldn’t-”

_“_ No I mean you can’t, I won’t let you!”

“That’s cute Boyscout.”

“Damnit d-”

_And that’ll do it..._

He takes a deep breath, dropping the rest of the way, stumbling a few steps before righting himself, casting a quick glance over at the living room window, freezing, insuring he’s not caught out before turning, rushing along the side of the building and out along the street, slipping into his car, pulling out into traffic.

_Oh my god that was insane! but necessary..._

_Very necessary._

This Spycraft thing is gonna take up who knows how much of his life from here on out. It will be insane, and terrifying and he will be in totally over his head and bombarded with things on a daily bases that he’d never thought he’d ever encounter. That is going to be his life. This will change everything, Throw everything he has ever known into chaos.

He deserves one last gasp of normalcy before his life descends into this bizzaro mix of boring insanity that is gonna be his new reality for the foreseeable future. 

_Okay this may be stupid, no doubt there’ll be hell to pay when they find out what he did but right now he really doesn’t care._

_Later on he’ll deal with the fall out, he’ll deal with the insanity, the bizarrely boring lectures, the bat crap insane new reality in which he is a spy in training with a computer program integrated INTO his brain living with Captain Boyscout and less than thirty feet from the most terrifyingly gorgeous, terrifyingly obnoxious, terrifyingly_ **_terrifying_ ** _person he has ever met in his entire life._

_He’ll deal with it all. He will..._

_Later._

_Right now he needs this._

_He needs a night out with his best friend and a nice meal and a heavy dose of scifi escapism... He needs this..._

_He deserves this._

_And he is taking it._

##  {*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Yay! Another chapter up...I liked how this one went-I know the end just kind of petered out but I think it’s okay. Kinda get the feeling Alec is totally the by the book lecture-y type...though I’d think part of the reason he’s doing it like this is to ease Simon into it kinda bore him into not getting overwhelmed by the crazy. Figure’s Alec’s the type that’d find comfort in facts and knowledge..._
> 
> _Thinking this is his way of helping Simon adjust...don’t know how effective it’ll be but A for effort in any case._
> 
> _I know it had a bit of a goofy feel but I think for this verse that’s gonna work...thinking for this verse the atmosphere is gonna be pretty similar to the one with Verse 1 the Psych verse. Think it really fits perfectly...plus they make it so that when you do have a big, serious, emotional type scene it has all the more impact. Think this verse is gonna be a lot of fun._
> 
> _So quick update agenda- I’ve decided rather than just bandying about randomly for updates I’m just going to the bottom of the list and updating the last active story on my list first- figure that’s the one that’s been sitting longest so it makes sense. This is the order I’m going in unless there’s any unforeseen ‘Oh my god I have to work on this one right now’ this is the order the updates will go:_
> 
> ~~A Start Of Something New (Verse 7)~~  
>  ~~~~
> 
> ~~The Guy/Demon In The Mirror~~  
>  ~~(Verse 4)~~  
>  ~~~~
> 
> ~~Nosey Neighbors~~  
>  ~~(Verse 9)~~  
>  ~~~~
> 
> Love Bug (Verse 2)
> 
> Picture Perfect (Verse 8)
> 
> You Can’t Go Home Again (Verse 1)
> 
> A Study In Chaos (Verse 6)
> 
> This Is Why You Don’t Wander Away From The Group (Verse 5)
> 
> Death Was Just The Beginning (Verse 3)
> 
> _Next one up is Love Bug._
> 
> _I’m trying to update more than once a week but real life is fighting me at every turn on that- works insane, family stuff to deal with, works even more insane and super understaffed, and like half my state is currently on fire...more than a few distractions there..._
> 
> _Still I am trying-_
> 
> _So what do you guys thinks so far?_


	3. Escapism Isn’t The Same As An Escape...

## {*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^}

##  *-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*

## {*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^}

“-nd then Aiden screamed and jumped up on the table and came THIS close to knocking over the game console and usually Mike would be yelling about nearly damaging the equipment but he was too distracted trying to figure out where the damn ferret ran to before it bit a customer instead of just the idiot game tech who decided it’d be a good idea to smuggle his new pet ferret into work.

Plus it’s kinda hard to yell at someone who’s most likely gonna need stitches and a round of precautionary rabies shots before the days out.

Though if anything else at least the ferret ended up with better off for all the insanity...when the store quieted down we ended up finding the little guy curled up asleep in one of the cubbies. Astrid decided she was confiscating it as Aiden clearly wasn’t responsible enough to have him. So technically she kinda stole his pet but...well...can’t really argue with the logic. Plus after suffering a dozen ferret bites in less than half a minute Aiden seemed more than okay with it...

He said he’d drop off the food, toys and bed on his way home from the hospital. If anything Astrid’s happy with her new pet- even bought it a collar from the pet store next door...I mean it’s for a cat but she insists it’ll be perfect.” Kevin trailed off with a disbelieving laugh, shaking his head before pausing, head tilting, smiling expectantly at Simon.

_Oh uh...crap..._

_What’d he just say?_

_Something about a cat? Someone at work’s cat...or someone got a cat..._

_Something work and cat..._

_A cat was loose at work? No...that can’t be it...why would a cat be in an electronics store? Maybe it’s after a mouse...oh man...least he managed to keep the painfully bad joke internal...that’s something almost...but w-_

Kevin’s smile dimmed a bit, eyebrow quirking faintly in annoyance.

_Oh crap you’re taking too long, he’s staring-he’ll know you’re not paying attention. Quick just guess! Say something!_ **_Anything!_ **

_Something, work, cat,_ **_go!_ **

Simon startled faintly, setting up a bit, blinking, giving a slightly forced laugh and a too bright smile, nodding quickly.

“Oh umm...yeah...that’s good...c-cats are good...very good...” he trailed off, smile picking up to what he’s certain is probably a Cheshire cat on a manic sugar high level. 

Kevin blinked in confusion, giving a kind of unsure little half nod.

“Uh...y-yes...yes they are...”

Simon blinked back, nodding like a bobblehead, smile somehow ratcheting up even more to a near painful degree, interlocking his fingers on the table in an attempt to keep the face palm and groan internal.

_Oh good lord..._

**_‘Cats are good?’_ **

Are you freaking kidding me? ‘Cats are good?’ **_That_** is the best he can do for off the cuff, think on your feet responses?

_Oh dude...first mission he is_ **_toast._ **

He can’t even manage a half-ass convincing filler comment during a chat with his best friend. What kind of a snowball’s chance in hell odds does he have against real agents...counter agents...counter agents who want to kill him...or worse...because apparently there IS a worst option. Namely these Collective people finding out about his being an apparent functioning Intersect.

Odds are he’s gonna come into contact with these wackos again. He’s gonna end up having to face them and he’s gonna have to talk around them and he’s gonna have to find a way to bluff and seem like he isn’t what he is and his life and probably a lot of other people’s lives are gonna depend on his ability to bluff and lie and not totally crumble under pressure or threats or fear or god only knows what...And he can’t even half-ass bluff his way through not paying attention to his best friend’s story from his day at work.

_Yup...he’ll be lucky if he makes it a week._ _Well...if anything at least he won’t have to deal with the insanity for too terribly long._

Yeesh...that’s dark. Is that just a sign of the situation, something in him altering like Raphael said because of his newly acquired world view...or is it something being literally rewritten inside him by the Nexus program? They all said it doesn’t change your mind- your personality...but what the hell do they know? Up until he stumbled ass backwards into it they didn’t even think the program worked! At least not without rendering the person a vegetable or a jabbering wreck.

Though with those options at least you’re kept somewhere safe and out of harm’s way as opposed to being forced into training on how to **_actively_** put yourself IN harm’s way...no matter how mind-numbingly ill-equipped you are for it.

_Man...when you’re envious of a comatose patient you know your life’s taking a very wrong turn._

Aaand we’re back to the dark...And the spinning on what exactly IS causing it. It really doesn’t sound like him...He doesn’t usually have such a dark, bleak outlook. Then again he’s also never had such a dark, bleak future looming. Not just looming- barreling down on him like a freaking freight train. With no escape in sight.

_Like what do y-_

“-ie... ** _Simon!”_**

He startles again, glancing up at Kevin, who’s still staring at him- though the look now is less annoyed and more concerned, big doe eyes wide, shifting over him questioningly. He swallows, taking a deep breath, flashing a slightly less manic, still too wide smile, trying to come up with something to say...something halfway convincing.

“So w-”

Kevin sighed, shifting forward, resting his elbows on the table.

“Simon what’s wrong?”

He shook his head a bit too quickly, reaching up, tucking a few errant light browne curls behind his ear, giving a halfhearted shrug.

“Nothing’s wrong.” Kevin quirked his eyebrow, head shaking slightly.

“Si...come on. You’ve been a million miles away since you got here. You keep zoning out and you’re barely even pretending to pay attention.

That’s not like you.” He shifted forward, reaching over, catching his hand, squeezing lightly.

“What’s going on?”

He, swallowed, quickly shaking his head, waving him off.

“N-no...it’s nothing...I’m not upset, just kinda feeling off...maybe I’m coming down with something o-”

Kevin sighed, again squeezing his hand.

“Si that’s not what’s wrong and we both know it. Something’s bothering you. You’re upset about something...spinning about it. I’ve known you for over half a decade- I know when something’s off with you. And it is now. You’re upset...and worried... _really_ worried. Just tell me what it is, maybe I can help.”

He again shook his head, a bit quicker this time.

“I’m not I j-”

“Is it something with work? A job offer? I know you get them from other places sometimes.”

He shook his head.

“No it’s n-”

He froze, blinking, kind of pulling back.

“I-is it me...did I do s-”

Simon’s eyes widened, head shaking quickly, reaching across the table, catching his retreating hand, tugging it back, squeezing tightly, meeting his bright doe eyes, flashing a bit of a real smile, again shaking his head.

“No. absolutely not...It’s never you Kev.”

He breathed a relieved sigh, blowing a dark chocolate brown curl out of his eyes, flashing a warm, brightly dimpled smile, nodding, squeezing his hand back.

“Kay, good...” he paused, head tilting faintly a bit of a cloud flickering behind those warm aquamarine doe eyes.

“Did your parents call?”

He snorted, glancing up, sending a faintly sarcastic eyebrow raise Kevin’s way.

“Dude, we’re having burgers and a scifi schlock fest, not a bottle and a Call Of Duty marathon.”

He huffed out a laugh, holding his hand up placatingly.

“Fair point.”

Simon mirrored the laugh, nodding emphatically. Kevin relaxed a bit more, shifting forward, head tilting the other way, brow furrowing in thought before again freezing, looking up curiously.

“Is it the new roommate thing? This Alec guy?”

Simon blinked, starting faintly starting to shake his head but Kevin’s eyes widened, shifting forward more, raising a finger.

“It is, isn’t it? Oh dude...”

“No it’s n-”

“I mean he seemed pretty cool last night but also kinda weird and the whole flirting first meeting and then just showing up. It seemed coincidental but then maybe it wasn’t.”

“Kev it’s n-”

“ Though he **_was_** only flirty with you for that first meeting. Last night he was totally flabbergasted by Mags-which well...it’s **_Mags-_** that’s pretty much a given during any first meeting but he did seem pretty mesmerized. Is he like one of his fanboy’s or something? Like had a thing for him but didn’t think he’d have a chance in hell with THE Magnus Bane so he like moved in with you to get to him? Not like it’d be the first time someone tried to cozy up to one of us to get to Magnus...kinda underhanded but a good plan really a-”

_“Kev-”_

“And it would probably be the best way to get some one on one time with Mags- kinda a hard thing to get and it’s not like there’s a shortage of people vying for that. Not the worst plan-

Well unless you liked him too and were disappointed in the turn. Could kinda see that- you did meet him first and he is pretty hot- well I’m not really the best judge but he has the whole tall, naturally athletic, fitness model thing which I could see working for a lot of people- definitely seems to work for Mags-though if that’s the case and it’d really upset you I’m sure he’d pump the breaks or even back off entirely. I mean a hot guy’s a dime a dozen for him but y-”

**_“KEVIN!”_ **

He startled, eyes wide, freezing, mouth snapping shut with an audible click. Simon swallowed, instantly feeling horrible about snapping at the guy. He sighed, giving a faintly helpless shrug.

“I-sorry Kev...I didn’t m-”

Kevin settled, shifting forward a bit, flashing a soft, somewhat sheepish smile.

“It’s okay Si...got kinda carried away.”

He gave a faint wave.

“I still shouldn’t have snapped.”

“And I shouldn’t have babbled on so much.”

Simon huffed out a faint laugh, meeting his eyes, shrugging.

“Dude I’m the last person that should get on someone for babbling.”

He snickered, smirking faintly.

“True...”

He gave a false glare.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to agree with that.”

He shrugged, smirk picking up impishly.

“I’m also not supposed to lie to my best friend, couldn’t do both.”

Simon laughed, rolling his eyes, shaking his head. Kevin smiled, lightly patting his hand, head tilting.

“So really, what is it?”

He paused, swallowing, shrugging, kind of glancing away. Kevin shifted over, tilting his head to again catch his eye, brow raising in concern.

“Si?”

He faltered, glancing away, scratching at his arm.

“I-It’s not...it isn’t...nothing’s...I’m not...ugh...” He sighed, trailing off, kind of slumping in his seat, dropping his head into his hand, rubbing at his temples, taking a deep breath before glancing back up, giving a kind of halfhearted little shrug.

“I-...Kev...I really can’t...”

Kevin blinked in surprise, head shaking.

“Wha-Simon? Si? You can tell me anything.”

He shook his head, glancing up, meeting his eyes.

“Not this. Sorry...It’s kinda just something I need to work out on my own.”

He froze a moment, big doe eyes wide with concern.

“A-are you...I mean...it’s not like a medical thing right? I mean you didn’t have like a doctor appointment I didn’t know about or something...right?”

He shook his head.

“No...not really...nothing like that. It’s personal...and complicated...REALLY complicated. Stupidly complicated...like beyond all possible reason complicated. And I really don’t want to have to deal with it but I also can’t just ignore it cause no matter how much I may want it to it’s not just gonna go away and it’s probably gonna get a hell of a lot worse before it gets better.

**_If_** it ever gets better...I have my doubts...a LOT of doubts. Though it kinda seems like I’m in the minority with that...which **_should_** be comforting but it’s really just more irritating than anything else. Kinda feels like I’m screaming that there’s a tornado coming and it keeps being waved off like it’s just a light breeze even as I can see the funnel cloud forming and hear the wind howling.”

Kevin blinked rapidly, seemingly unsure what to do with his arms.

“I-but...wait...YOU don’t think it’s gonna get better? You’re one of the most positive people I know. You **_always_** think things are gonna turn around, work out for the best. It IS gonna work out...right?”

He sighed faintly, slumping in his seat, again just shrugging.

“I-honestly? I don’t know Kev...I really don’t.

Wish I did.”

Kevin swallowed, kind of faltering himself, reaching up brushing a few deep chocolate curls behind his ear.

“W-well...is there anything I can do to help?”

He sighed, again shaking his head.

“Not really...It’s something I just have to work it out for myself.”

Kevin swallowed, giving a slight nod, looking up.

“I-o-okay...I get that. But you know if you ever want t-”

Simon smiled, squeezing his hand, meeting his eyes, nodding back.

“I know Kev...and thank you...really.”

He smiled, nodding.

“A-and if there’s ever any way I can help just let me know...anything.”

Simon smiled softly.

“I know Kev...and thank you but I r-...” he trailed off, freezing for a moment, an idea occurring, holding up a finger.

“Actually...there might be someth-”

Kevin leaned forward, nodding.

“Anything.”

He shifted forward as well, trying to choose his words carefully.

“I-okay so this is gonna probably sound really odd and won’t really make sense but I kinda really need you to keep acting the same with me; video games and crazy random nonsensical arguments and cheesy movie marathons and all of that. Just try to keep things normal for us- or our version of normal.”

Kevin’s eyebrow quirked, head tilting.

“So...in order to help you you want me to keep playing video games, watching bad movies and arguing with you on things like Hulk Vs. The Thing and Which X-Man has the most inconvenient superpower?”

Simon nodded quickly, shifting forward.

“Yes exactly. And I really need you to let me know if you notice things changing about me.”

Those big doe eyes blinked in confusion, eyebrow raising.

“Changing lik-”

“Just anything; personality or temper o-or...I don’t know...just anything. Anything that seems off or out of place...anything that seems like NOT me. I mean you know me better than anyone- sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself. And I kind of feel like I might be too close to this...like I won’t notice because it’s me and really we never notice things changing about ourselves...at least not till like way down the road...but I’m thinking you would...and you’re likely to catch it a lot faster than I will.

J-just...if you notice something different, like off or weird or out of character or whatever just give me a heads up, alright?”

Again he blinked before giving a slight shrug and an unsure little wave.

“I-yeah...sure. If it’ll help of course I will.”

He let out a deep breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in, slumping faintly in his chair- this time in relief, nodding, flashing a warm, relieved smile.

“Okay...thank you- it really will.”

Kevin flashed a return- though fair bit more confused- smile back, nodding, again squeezing his hand, meeting his gaze reassuringly before nodding once more, turning back to the remains of his dessert, picking up the spoon taking another bite of the chocolate mousse. Simon settled back, sighing, feeling the tight ball of nerves in his stomach relax for the first time today, pulling his close as well, taking a bite of the sweet, richly creamy chocolate.

_Mmm..._

Okay...so this is insane...his life is gonna change...he’s probably gonna change...most everything is gonna change...but he’s gonna have Kevin. He’s gonna have Kevin and their movie nights and their stupid arguments and their bad jokes and their video games and all of their normal Kevin and Simon stuff.

He’s still gonna have video games and his best friend and Emilio’s amazing chocolate mousse. He’s gonna have pockets of normalcy. And he’s gonna have someone on the lookout for things changing for him. He might not spot them but Kev will. He will and he’ll tell him and then if anything at least he won’t be totally blindsided.

It’s something.

_It’s small, and kind of unimportant, but it IS something... Something for him to hold onto._

_That’s all he r-_

“Woah, Look who it is? Hi!” Kevin exclaimed, perking up, setting forward, giving an excited little wave towards where Simon just heard the tinkling bell on the door of the diner.

Simon started out of his thoughts, catching Kevin’s cheerful expression, turning faintly to see wh-

_Ah crap..._

_So much for the normalcy..._

Raphael seems to faintly startle, dark eyes landing on the table, a perfectly surprised expression crossing his annoyingly gorgeous, sharp features. He gives a slight half gasp, dark eyes widening, kind of hesitating in the doorway before coming all the way in. Kevin smiles, shifting forward, waving him over.

He hesitates a moment at the door before kind of timidly moving across the diner, approaching their table. He comes to a stop next to them, gaze flickering from Kevin over to Simon.

“Oh...hey Kevin... Si-umm...Simon...” he gives a nervous little laugh, glancing up, gaze lingering a few moments longer than necessary, flickering over Simon near appreciatively, pointedly lingering on his lips, a soft breath of a dreamy little sigh escaping before seemingly startling, catching himself.

He glances away sheepishly, nervously _(and distractingly)_ biting at his lower lip, a way too appealing faint flush blooming along his sharp cheekbones. He reaches up, tucking a few soft looking, glossy, near black, brown locks behind his ear, an entirely too soft, hopeful, near shy little smile tugging at his pretty lips, glancing back up, catching Simon’s eye.

“Hey...”

Simon gulps, feeling his throat go dry, cheeks warming, unable to stop a nervous little wave and a squeaky little sound that could be ‘hey’ slipping out, instantly feeling his face warm even more.

Those pretty, dark eyes spark bright, the slightest little twitch of a smirk flickering at the corner of his mouth, just for a split second. Just a split second...but it’s enough.

Enough to pull him back to reality.

Back to just who it is standing next to him looking all enticing and shy.

A sharp, calculating, cunning killer.

An expert assassin.

An expert spy.

An expert deceiver.

An expert deceiver who’s favorite new hobby seems to be seeing how many buttons of Simon’s he can push and just how quickly he can push them.

This one’s gotta be a freaking record.

_Damnit...he fell for it WAY too easy...ugh..._

Kevin beamed, bouncing lightly in his seat, turning that bright, cheery, totally genuine megawatt smile on the new comer.

“Hey Raphael! Really small world, what brings you here?”

Raphael seemed to near start at the question, blinking, gaze pulling from Simon, shifting back over to Kevin, returning the smile, giving a slight, unsure shrug, again reaching up, brushing his hair back.

“Oh umm...I’ve heard a couple people mention this place- sounded really good, figured I’d check it out.”

Kevin’s smile brightened all the more, bright aquamarine eyes sparkling brilliantly, animatedly nodding.

“Well whatever you heard it’s right. This is my favorite place in the whole city. They have great burgers and fries and shakes but the best thing is the chocolate mousse- it’s amazing. You totally have to have some.”

Raphael chuckled at the enthusiasm, nodding back.

“Definitely have to try that.”

“You SO should. Oh h-” He began, shifting over to make room on his side of the booth. 

Simon near started, taking a deep, gulping breath, shifting over, quickly sliding out of the booth, beginning to stand, flashing a quick smile to Raphael, nodding.

“He’s right, you should- it can’t be beat...you’ll have to let us know what you think of it.”

Raphael blinked in surprise, a look of slight disappointment tugging at his stupidly pretty features, face falling a bit, kind of shifting from one foot to the other.

“Oh a-are you guys leaving?”

“N-” Kevin began to shake his head but Simon cut him off, slipping between them, resting his hand on Kevin’s hand on the table, subtly squeezing, nodding like a dashboard Chihuahua.

“Umm yeah- we are. Sorry, it’s kinda crap timing but we have tickets and it starts soon and we’re already running late. But you should totally stay, have the mousse it’s really good- if anything Kevin’s underselling it. You’ll have to let us know what you think but some other time cause we really need to run, right Kev?” He finished all in one breath, turning catching his gaze, eyes widening pointedly.

Kevin blinked before giving a kind of unsure nod, slipping out of the booth as well.

“Uh-y-yeah...” he shook his head, flashing a warm, apologetic smile towards Raphael, shrugging.

“Sorry- I didn’t realize how late it was getting- the mousse will do that...kinda hard to concentrate on anything when you have it. Least it is for me...you might have better resistance for sweets than I do. We do have to head out though- really don’t want to miss this...it’s kinda a BFF tradition, we’ve went every year since senior year of high school.”

Simon nodded again, slipping his arm around Kevin’s shoulders, squeezing, flashing a too wide smile, nodding yet again.

“Yup, tradition- can’t mess with that. I’d invite you along but we had to get the tickets weeks ago and it’s totally sold out. Let me know what you think of the mousse though.” He smiled again, turning, reaching for their bill setting on the edge of the table, near startling as it’s snatched up in a flash.

He blinks in confusion, gaze slipping from the corner of the table to Raphael holding the slip of paper up, pose deceptively relaxed. Simon hesitated a second before reaching forward again trying to catch it. Raphael shifted, holding it behind his back, smirking impishly, a flicker of that bright, exciting, challenging little spark shimmering in those impossibly deep eyes, shifting forward eagerly.

Simon huffed in irritation, purposefully ignoring the heat he could feel creeping up his cheeks and the dizzyingly exciting little buzz at that look, raising his eyebrow pointedly.

“Can I have our bill?”

Raphael smirked, brow quirking right back, leaning in a little more, deep eyes flickering over Simon’s face before again shifting up, catching his eyes.

“Nope.”

Simon exhaled sharply, trying to fight off an aggravated growl.

“Raphael we have to g-”

“Go?”

“Yes.” Simon bit out.

Raphael gave a faint shrug.

“I know...so go...”

Simon raised his eyebrow expectantly.

_“So...?”_

_“So?”_

This time he couldn’t keep the growl in.

“So...Can I **_please_** have our bill so we can go?”

“No...but you can go.” 

“Ugh! Damnit Raph-” Simon begins only to be cut off by an annoyingly appealing soft chuckle and a teasing little head tilt, soft little growl like hum slipping out, glittering black eyes flickering over Simon, lingering again on his lips before shifting back up, meeting his eyes, smirk picking up a tic, leaning in just the tiniest bit.

“Eres lindo cuando estas enojado.”

Simon flailed slightly, gasping, animatedly pointing.

“Hey I don’t know what that means but I’m pretty sure it’s an insult so same to you buddy.”

Raphael gave a surprised, irritatingly warm burst of laughter, shaking his head, those gorgeous eyes sparkling in amusement in that stupidly appealing way that made Simon’s breath catch and his stomach do a funny little summersault. Beside him Simon heard a faint muffled snicker from Kevin. Simon whipped around, casting a totally betrayed look his way. Kevin’s eyes widened, head shaking quickly hands going up in a placating gesture.

“I wa-” 

Raphael chuckled again, leaning in, smirking, giving a faintly dismissive wave Kevin’s way.

“Now now, no need to kick poor Kevin here...that’s like kicking a puppy...besides it’s hardly warranted. In fact thank you- I’m flattered...not really an adjective I’m used to getting but flattered nonetheless.

What I meant was you can’t have the bill because I’m going to take care of it for you...” He smirked, gaze flickering over Simon, giving a little shrug.

“Think of it as being neighborly.”

Simon faltered, too many jumbled emotions warring to really settle on just one...or even five. He finally just huffed, waving him off, holding his hand out for the bill.

“It’s fine...I can get our bill.”

Raphael shrugged dismissively.

“I know you _can_...but I **_am._** I’ll just add mine onto it and pay it all.”

Simon sputtered.

“B-but wh- can’t you j... ** _why?”_**

Raphael smirked, again shrugging.

“Eh...you guys are in a hurry, this’ll save you time...besides seems appropriate for a first date.”

Simon sputtered, blushing, shaking his head in disbelief.

**_“Date?_** This is not a date. We’ve talked for all of five minutes, I’m leaving you here AND I’m leaving with someone else...How do you figure that’s a date?”

Raphael gave a dismissive little wave.

“I’ve had worse.”

“Yeah well you know what-s-so have I...umm but just because this wouldn’t have been the absolute worst or strangest or even most confusing date I’ve ever had does NOT make it one.

This is NOT our first date.

I’ll know when it’s our first date.”

Raphael smirked, head tilting in amusement.

“And you’ll let me know as well?”

“Damn right I wi-wait...what?” Simon trailed off, blinking in confusion, holding up a finger, trying to backtrack, to see where he went off into the weeds.

Raphael’s smirk picked up even more, brow quirking near teasingly, a soft, confusing little chuckle slipping out followed by a teasingly flirty little shrug.

“Fair enough. Though I’m not generally the submissive type to just wait around for someone else to make the first move...however if you’re _that_ insistent on taking the lead I can’t really say I mind in this case...

I’m free tomorrow by the way...just saying...”

Simon flushed clear to his ears, sputtering, glaring, just barely managing to keep from stomping his foot.

“I-you-that’s j-oh! You obnoxious, smug, insufferable...ugh...y-you know what? Do whatever you want. We need to go.” He finished with an irritated huff, glaring once more before reaching over, catching Kevin’s hand, turning, stalking to the door, all but dragging poor Kevin along behind him.

“Okay tha-um-whoa- Bye Raphael!” he called over his shoulder, waving with his free hand. 

Raphael’s bright, far too appealing chuckle met his ears, he could see him flash a twinkling little wave in the reflection on the glass door, that insufferable smirk in full bloom.

“Bye Kevin- great seeing you. See ya soon Simon.” 

Simon growled, yanking the door open, stomping out and across the parking lot to his car parked on the far side of the lot, letting go of his death grip on Kevin’s hand, pulling the car door open, climbing in, Kevin scrambling around to the other side, all but tumbling in, hastily fastening his seatbelt as Simon guns the engine, quickly whipping out into traffic, tires near squealing as he takes the exit onto the on ramp.

Beside him Kevin swallows, eyes wide, checking the buckle on his seatbelt, glancing over, holding up a finger.

“U-umm...so about that whole noticing any odd changes with y-”

“Not now Kev.”

“Noted.” He squeaked, nodding rapidly, shifting his gaze from Simon back onto the road ahead, pulling the belt a bit tighter.

## {*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*^*_*}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_“Eres lindo cuando estas enojado.”=_ ** _You’re cute when you’re angry_
> 
> Oh man this one was fun! I love Simon and Kevin, they’re so sweet together, I love their relationship. I also love Raphael poking at Simon (And Raphael switching from the sweet/shy act he uses around Kevin, letting a bit more of his real personality shine through.
> 
> I forgot how much I love this verse. Really think it’s one of my favorites- though I seem to think that about near every one I just finished updating lol.
> 
> So another chapter down- think this counts as 2 in one week so that’s pretty awesome for me. So far I seem to be sticking to the list- I keep wanting to double back and work on the one’s I just updated but then I see which one is next in line and I get all excited about that one so it seems to be keeping me on track.
> 
> Here’s where we are in the list:
> 
> ~~A Start Of Something New (Verse 7)~~ ~~~~
> 
> ~~The Girl/Demon In The Mirror~~ ~~(Verse 4)~~ ~~~~
> 
> **~~Nosey Neighbors~~ ** **~~(Verse 9)~~ ** ~~~~
> 
> ** Love Bug (Verse 2) **
> 
> Picture Perfect (Verse 8)
> 
> You Can’t Go Home Again (Verse 1)
> 
> A Study In Chaos (Verse 6)
> 
> This Is Why You Don’t Wander Away From The Group (Verse 5)
> 
> Death Was Just The Beginning (Verse 3)
> 
> Next up is Love Bug...which I really do adore _(Can’t believe in that verse we’re past the halfway point in the season!)._
> 
> So what’d you guys think of the chapter?

**Author's Note:**

> _Kay so this one was a bit short but it’s started- I love the image of Simon at the end- you know Raph is trying to seem all cool and collected but is totally melting on the inside at the sheer overwhelming adorableness. There’s just no defense against that lol._
> 
> _I love this verse so much- it’s gonna be a blast!_
> 
> _So what do you guys think so far?_


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